Sunday, December 22, 2013

A True Survivor

Last holiday shopping season, I gave Gabbie money to buy her mother a Christmas present. She did buy the gift for her Mom, but she and a friend also decided to buy two goldfish. Now, when I say they bought two goldfish, I mean when I found them, they had a plastic bag filled with water and two goldfish, chlorine drops, and goldfish food.
Now, I am certain that some of you see the error in Gabbie and her friend's plan. There was no bowl included in the two would-be pet owners purchase. Well, I paraded the two girls back into the store and spoke with the pet store attendant, who told me how she explained to the girls that they needed other supplies. Well, the two 59 cent fish ended up costing me $25.
So, the girls told me, and Gabbie in particular, that this would be a good test of her ability to take "responsibility" for a live animal. I didn't remind her that she used the same excuse to get me to get our cat, Boots. So, we bring the two fish home, she and her friend do all the work of filling up the bowl (with the chlorine drops), tempering the water, and putting the fish in and feeding them. It was great to watch them work so hard.
A few weeks and water changes later, Gabbie had misplaced the chlorine drops, and the water desperately needed to be changed, since there was about 2 inches of water in the bowl. She decides to change the water without the drops. Well, everything went okay for a day, but the next day one of the two fish was dead. I figured the other would follow soon after, and we could put an end to this experiment.
To my surprise the second fish survived. Other things happened to this guy. Once, again with the water level very low, Boots pushed the bowl off of the desk. I heard it just before falling asleep and was able to rescue the little guy. There's been more issues, usually with too much time spent between water changes.
Well, it's now been over a year, and this guy is still kicking (or swimming).
I thought this would be a short-lived (pardon the pun) experiment, but Goldy has proved that not to be the case. She is truly a survivor, and Gabbie and I both are amazed he's still around (knock on wood). Perhaps, next year, I'll be giving you another update that the guy has continued to beat the odds. If so, he'll be a true survivor.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Dirty Laundry


Well, it's time to offend some people. Not intentionally, well maybe somewhat intentionally, but I'm certainly not going to call anyone out, because I've been guilty of making some pretty dumb FB posts before - but here it goes.

With the inundation of social media, it's not surprising that people use it to air grievances or family/personal/relationship problems. I understand, it's nice to be able to vent - to get what's troubling you off your mind and perhaps, get some feedback as to whether you're alone in your frustration. Let's face it, though, how many times have your read a post by someone and it made you cringe. I mean, you see a post regarding an on-going marriage debacle or a hate-filled rant about a personal encounter with someone or a rant about a problem at work that borders on the insane and you ask yourself, was this the best venue for such things? I know I've posted some things that afterwards, I said, "Wow, that had no place on a Facebook page."

It truly is amazing how sitting at a computer insulates you from the realities of the world around you. Sometimes you can be anonymous (like on message boards), but not on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn (if you're using LinkedIn for this, then there is no helping you).

It's hard to fathom why someone would air their dirty laundry - I guess they are truly looking for support from friends and family. Maybe there is a place for that on Facebook, but on a general wall post?

"Hey everyone in my Facebook network, I hate my spouse! Just thought I'd let you know."

"Hey, everyone on Twitter, I just ran into an old friend, God she's gotten fat!" Yes, I actually read a post like this.

"Hey my FB homies, I'm sittin' at home chillin' with my girl We're gonna get busy in a bit." Yep, that was on a Facebook post one time, too.

Now, trying to be a moral compass, I am not, but sometimes, common sense eludes people when they sit down and start typing. Perhaps Facebook should have a filter that asks the question, "Do you really want to post this?" just to make someone take a second to review what they typed. Of course, we all know people who even this filter would not dissuade them from posting their laundry - or perhaps Facebook and Twitter could employ psychologists for people to confide in - Perhaps Dr. Phil will be available..."How's that working for you?"

I think all of us enjoy reading 99% of the updates on Facebook and seeing the pictures people post (we'll get into some of the pictures that get posted on FB at a later date). People are interesting, and quite often our friends have important things to share. It's just the "one-percenters" that seem to make people cringe.

So, I'm not going to make a call to action to have people stop the rants - nope, it's not my place to do that. I just ask that you keep it civil and keep it fun.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Footsteps in Time (Toastmasters Speech)

When I was 20 years old I had an experience that, at the time, didn’t have the impact on me that it does today. To understand this, I have to take you back in time, long before I was born; to one of the most turbulent times in American history, but also one of its proudest times. America was embroiled in World War II. My father, then a farm kid from a small town in southern Minnesota, was preparing for what he felt was his obligation; to join the military and help defend his country.

My father entered the Marines Corps in the summer of 1943. He was a marine rifleman. Dad went through basic training and infantry training before being stricken with pneumonia and hospitalized in San Diego. When he was cleared to join the war he trained at Camp Pendleton; eventually he shipped off to Guam. In Guam he joined the Sixth Marine Division, 22nd Marines. This was a proud unit that took part in action at Guadalcanal, Tarawa, Peleliu, and Iwo Jima. The 22nd Marines suffered many casualties, and my dad was joining them as a replacement. This meant he was taking the place of dead or wounded marines; not an enviable position..

By the time my dad joined the war in the Pacific, the Japanese Army and Navy were but a shell of their former glory. Though depleted, surrender or capture was considered disgraceful to the Japanese soldier, so each man continued to fight to his death, taking more American servicemen’s lives in the process. As my dad took to the battle field of Okinawa, he did so knowing that, even though some of the hardest and deadliest fighting was over, still hundreds of Japanese soldiers remained, intent on defending their country to the death, and, in the process, killing him as well.

For one month and 17 days my dad fought on Okinawa. Going from village to village and cave to cave, rooting out the Japanese. I know this, not from him, but from history books and documentaries. The fighting in the Pacific was like nothing the American servicemen had encountered. Luckily for my father many men sacrificed their lives and many hard lessons were learned to help him, and others like him, survive. I know from my grandmother that his 47 days of combat took a heavy emotional toll, though he spoke very little about it.

Fast forward to March of this year; HBO aired “The Pacific”, a 10-part series, documenting one of the most decorated and battled-tested fighting units in American history, the 1st Marine Division. Although my father was not a member of the “Fighting First,” I was intrigued by HBO’s attempt to chronicle the events that took place in the Pacific from 1942 through 1945; particularly that they were going to document the fighting on Okinawa as documented by Eugene Sledge in his book, With the Old Breed: at Peleliu and Okinawa.

I watched each episode and committed them to my DVR for further review. Eventually, the one and only episode featuring the fighting on Okinawa aired. I sat intently watching it as it delivered riveting images of the fighting. I can’t tell you the exact moment that I had the epiphany, but at some point, I remember thinking out loud, “Oh my God…I was there.”

In March of 1987 I received the orders that almost every Marine gets during his or her first stint in the corps…OKINAWA. I spent one year on the “Rock” as it is affectionately called; from April of 1987 until April of 1988. I drove a van for the CAFO office, so I had a unique perspective, seeing much of the island by roadway.

The CAFO office had a group of old salt Marines who endured heavy fighting in the jungles of Southeast Asia, and they had their own stories to tell. So, it didn’t seem out of the ordinary that they would take such an interest in the battlefields of Okinawa. In fact, they relished the chance to go out into some of the harder to reach areas. After divulging my tie to the island through my father, one Marine, Master Sergeant Whitehead took me through many of the battlefields, if you can call them that. Areas overrun with jungle. Rocky outcrops riddled with bullet marks, many of which resembled nothing more than smoothed indentations. Top Whitehead took particular interest in my father’s history. I didn’t know at the time how his interest would affect me until I watched the HBO series.

Distant memories came creeping back into my mind of the areas we trekked through. Talking about what the Marines had to endure; showing me caves, hidden by the jungle’s reclamation project, where Japanese soldiers would launch suicidal attacks on Marines. These made our excursions even more surreal. It was incomprehensible; trying to grasp what it must have been like as a young kid fighting in such a Godforsaken place. Top Whitehead’s desire to get me out to these battlefields is something I could never thank him enough for – and I probably never will get the chance.

I have pictures and memories of my time on Okinawa. What is missing are the tales that my father never had a chance to tell me, or that I was too busy going through childhood to sit down and ask him about. Either way his untimely death leaves me with the regret of the lost opportunity to talk to him about his experience on Okinawa and my revelation of how lucky I am to be able to say that I walked in his footsteps, if only for a brief moment in time.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Uff Da and Other Profanities




I hate to sound like some old man who doesn't understand today's generation, but I just have to ask one questions. "When did it become a sign of social status to continually use profanity in regular conversation?" Now, some of you are going to say, "Jim, you were a Marine, right?" And you'd be right. I mastered the ability to use profane language in all grammatical variations; nouns, verbs (transitive or intransitive), adjectives, and adverbs; it's a skill that all marines need to master before they can graduate boot camp...but I digress.

Now, I make this observational question because I took my daughters to a local park today and Gabbie came over to me and said, "I can't have fun because those kids are swearing." Now, I was busy taking pictures of the girls (yes, my girls you perverts) and wasn't really paying attention to the other kids. So, when Gabbie brought it to my attention, I started listening. Holy sh...cow! The potty mouths on those kids. Of course, I should be happy that my daughter was offended enough by the kids language to bring it to my attention. This segues to a great story about Gabbie (When she was about 3 - Sonja's age - we were driving to Wally-World and she threw out an F-inheimer. Annette and I, after the shock wore off, yelled a bit and she cried; of course, we knew she probably heard it from one of us, so we explained how it was a bad word and shouldn't be used. As we're walking into Wally-World Gabbie says to me, "Daddy?" I said, "Yes, honey." She responded with, "Shits a bad word, too." Ugh).

Well, back to my point at hand. I question when it become socially acceptable in public to use profanity. When did kids lose the concept of common decency. Maybe I've just become more sensitive to it now that I have children. I don't know. I just know that, even in situations that I was with my friends in high school, that we didn't say "f this" and "f that" when talking - at least I don't remember it. I know that as a kid (teenager) the words were in my vocabulary. Let me share another funny story - though, not as funny as my daughter's transgression earlier documented.

My sister, Shari and her husband, Dan had to live in a apartment above a home/styling salon in our hometown, while they were building their current home. During this time, we were in possession of a gas grill they had but couldn't use at their temporary location. One night my mom and I were grilling burgers (I think), and I was flipping the burgers. The grill was hot and burned me. I pulled back and yelled, "Yow...that fuckin' hurt!" Now, I knew right away that the word that came out of my mouth was not going to go over well. I would have liked to have used an "Uff da", but I didn't. Well, my mom's look sent shivers through my spine. You would have thought I had just cursed the Virgin Mary herself. I think I quickly said "frickin," but it was way too late. No "frickin" or "Fubar" was going to stop the ringing in Audrey's ears. I think her ears actually started to bleed.

Obviously, it was a different time and a different place, and I could have a lapse in memory when telling you that my friends and I didn't use profanity much...we were drinking...OMG, did I actually just say that!?! I hope I didn't just out anyone who's parents thought they were perfect Angels in high school.

Okay, fast forward to today. I listened to a girls use the "f-inheimer" like it was an article (a ,an, and the) and another kid calling a girl a "bitch." I remember calling my sister a bitch once and spent a half-hour in a room by myself contemplating the stupidity I had just displayed in front of family and friends...I deserved it. These kids didn't have any quorums using profanity. Now, I didn't say anything. A Facebook friend said I should have said something for my daughters' sake. She was probably right. I didn't due my personal decision that it's "none of my business." Of course, fore my daughters' sake, perhaps it is my business.

It's understandable that the world has changed. Television, movies, and the internet have made all types of images, language, and concepts available. I wouldn't ask that we restrict this information. However, I know there was a regulator, something within me, that made me govern what came out of my mouth in situations. That restriction seems to be missing - at least in what I observed. I only hope that as my daughters grow older, that that filter continues to work, the one that seemed to work so well for me.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Toastmasters


I recently joined toastmasters at my company. The first speech I prepared was for a tall tale competition. I thought I'd share this with you, and my sisters in particular, since they were the inspiration of this tall tale.

The title of my tale is:

"Revenge is a Dish Best Served...Flaming"

Growing up with five older sisters may seem like a curse, but in reality, it’s much worse.
Not only did I have five older sisters, I was the only boy. This led to many contentious fights with my sisters, almost all of which ended the same way; one of them getting a black eye, my hair pulled out, and my mom spanking me for “starting it.” This scenario played out over and over again. By the time I was eight years old, I had had enough. I was not going to stand for this. I would have my revenge.

Sunday night, June 30th, 1974.
Our neighborhood was gearing up for its annual Fourth of July celebration. Every year, my dad was in charge of the fireworks. He would buy hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks and store them in our garage. On the Fourth, he and the other men in the neighborhood would set them up in the field behind our house and fire them off. It wasn’t spectacular, but we all had a good time.

My plan was simple.
Take my sisters’ favorite doll, Amy, the one that cooed, drank from a bottle and peed, surgically rip off its head, fill its hollow shell with fireworks, put its head back on, and throw it in the “to burn” pile of garbage for Monday night.
Like I said, the plan was simple.

Monday, July 1, 1974
My sisters were outside playing with other kids from the neighborhood. I, however, sat and watched with anticipation as my dad took the trash out and dumped it into the burner. When he struck the match and held it to the bottom of the pile I felt gleeful exuberance, and as the flames licked the top of the burn pile I could hardly contain my excitement. I knew the moment was at hand and revenge was only seconds away. How sweet this night was going to be!

My dad was talking to the neighbors when the muffled rumblings started. He quickly turned to the garbage burner, then to me. He saw the devilish smile on my face and realized he had but seconds to act. Yelling, “Get down, it’s gonna blow!” He and all the neighbors dove to the ground as the trash pile exploded.

Amy shot up ─ rocketing nearly 1,000 feet into the air; a blazing trail of garbage following behind.

My sisters looked up in horror and screamed, “Amy!” Oh, it was sweet. As the flaming doll reached its apex, it exploded into a multi-colored fireball. I sat in stunned silence─ this was not part of the plan, but it was so much better than I had imagined. I was mesmerized. What happened next, however, made me think I might have taken this too far.

The neighbors started running for their homes as molten pieces of plastic baby doll came raining down. My sisters, in tears after watching their precious Amy take a mini-apollo moon shot, ran screaming as hundreds of tiny molotov cocktails, landed on cars, picnic tables, and homes throughout the neighborhood. Burning bits of baby doll were everywhere. It was surreal.

Finally, Amy’s head came falling back to earth, cooing, as though she were enjoying the ride. When the head landed in our backyard it continued to coo until fireworks, lodged in her plastic little head, exploded sending baby doll shrapnel flying in all directions. The finale to a well-orchestrated plan.

Slowly, neighbors emerged from hiding. The neighborhood looked like a miniature scene from Apocalypse Now, “Ah, I love the smell of burning baby doll in the evening.” Now, as you can imagine, the neighbors weren’t exactly thrilled with me, but their anger was surpassed by my father’s. He came walking over to me and, in dismay, said, “What in the world were you thinking!”

I looked him right in the eye, smiled, and said, “I bet the girls won’t mess with me, again.”

He hesitated for a moment, almost stunned by the joy in my eyes, and said, “Son, do you realize how much trouble you’re going to be in when your sisters recover from this?”

“Yeah,” I said, “but it was worth it.”

My dad sat down and put me on his knee. We looked up at the floating garbage still burning in the sky and watched the neighbors, walking in a daze, hoses in hand putting out fires, and he said, “You know, I think you’re right.”

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Skol Vikings

I've been a Minnesota Vikings' fan since I can remember. I've always bled purple and gold on Sunday's. Often, my week was made or destroyed whether or not the Vikings won or lost on Sunday.

The first Superbowl that I can ever remember was when the Vikings lost 16 - 6 to the Pittsburgh Steelers. I was just 10 years old the last time the Vikings were in a superbowl (1977) against the Oakland Raiders. I think any Minnesota Vikings fan can remember the infamous NFC Championship and the "Hail Mary" when Roger Staubach and Drew Pearson beat us in 1975; or the 1998 NFC Championship game against the Atlanta Falcons when we were a "team of destiny" derailed by a missed field goal, an infamous kneel down, and ultimately a made field goal in overtime...ugh. and let's not even talk about the 41 - 0 NFC Championship game against the New York Giants in 2000.

Now, let's fast forward to this year. The Vikings nemesis, Brett Favre, becomes our savior, and has the Vikings on the precipice of NFL immortality. This requires all of us die-hard Vikings fans to relive the ghosts of football past. It is torturous for me to sit and wait for the game this Sunday. Memories of Vikings failures leave me with only one thought, "What's going to derail the purple this time."

Yes, I know it's fatalistic, but when a team has consistently broken your heart, it's hard to get these dark thoughts out of your head. Of course, one could say if the Boston Redsox could break the curse of the Bambino, than perhaps....just perhaps, the Vikings could break their Superbowl curse.

So, I'll sit anxiously watching the game this Sunday, watching the Vikings go up against the Saints, hoping and praying that we find a way to defeat all of the ghosts that have lived far too long with us here in the Land of Purple.

Skol Vikings!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"We'll See"


Not long ago, my daughter, Gabbie, asked if she could get a Guinea Pig. In my head, my first response was, "No" what came out of my mouth though was, "We'll see." This is a conditioned response, I believe, from my mother. She often substituted "We'll see" for "No." I didn't realize this growing up, but now that I am a parent, I fully understand the tool she used. Of course, my daughter is much smarter than I, and she has picked up on this. Her response to my "We'll see" was, "That just means no." Smart kid, huh?

I stopped to think about why I say, "We'll see" in place of a more direct no or even an explanation of why we can't. Maybe I don't want to hurt my daughter so I gave her a non-committal answer. A parent's desire not to see his little girl's feelings hurt can be very strong, I think. This, of course, is wrong. Being honest is always better, right? So, I decided there and then that "We'll see" will no longer be a response I give my girls. I realize that children are intelligent. Gabbie and Sonja pick up on things, they can internalize them, and act out because of them. I know that my "We'll see" response was devastating to Gabbie; not just because she couldn't get what she wanted, but because I wasn't willing to be honest with her.

Now she wants an Ipod Touch. I told her we could not afford one right now, and perhaps she should not ask for presents for her birthday, but rather gift cards or cash to put towards it. She is now saving for her Ipod Touch. I simply want to instill in them, and myself, the idea of being honest rather than "Beating around the bush." It saddens me to think of how many times it took for me to say "We'll see" before Gabbie realized it just meant "No."

I made a resolution for 2010 to be a better person to my family and friends; will I stick to it? We'll see.