"We'll See"

Not long ago, my daughter, Gabbie, asked if she could get a Guinea Pig. In my head, my first response was, "No" what came out of my mouth though was, "We'll see." This is a conditioned response, I believe, from my mother. She often substituted "We'll see" for "No." I didn't realize this growing up, but now that I am a parent, I fully understand the tool she used. Of course, my daughter is much smarter than I, and she has picked up on this. Her response to my "We'll see" was, "That just means no." Smart kid, huh?

I stopped to think about why I say, "We'll see" in place of a more direct no or even an explanation of why we can't. Maybe I don't want to hurt my daughter so I gave her a non-committal answer. A parent's desire not to see his little girl's feelings hurt can be very strong, I think. This, of course, is wrong. Being honest is always better, right? So, I decided there and then that "We'll see" will no longer be a response I give my girls. I realize that children are intelligent. Gabbie and Sonja pick up on things, they can internalize them, and act out because of them. I know that my "We'll see" response was devastating to Gabbie; not just because she couldn't get what she wanted, but because I wasn't willing to be honest with her.

Now she wants an Ipod Touch. I told her we could not afford one right now, and perhaps she should not ask for presents for her birthday, but rather gift cards or cash to put towards it. She is now saving for her Ipod Touch. I simply want to instill in them, and myself, the idea of being honest rather than "Beating around the bush." It saddens me to think of how many times it took for me to say "We'll see" before Gabbie realized it just meant "No."

I made a resolution for 2010 to be a better person to my family and friends; will I stick to it? We'll see.